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Family scapegoats with years of healing: what events or thoughts precipitated your full acceptance of your family's narcissistic dynamic? Can you share your inner thoughts as you reached it? How do we know when we have reached full acceptance?

09.06.2025 02:46

Family scapegoats with years of healing: what events or thoughts precipitated your full acceptance of your family's narcissistic dynamic? Can you share your inner thoughts as you reached it? How do we know when we have reached full acceptance?

Recognizing the darkness in yourself allows you to see it very clearly in others. A narcissist is consumed with darkness. That is: deceit, sadism, and ego.

They don't love you.

The most important things to realize:

I’m wondering about attachment and transference with the therapist and the idea of escape and fantasy? How much do you think your strong feelings, constant thoughts, desires to be with your therapist are a way to escape from your present life? I wonder if the transference serves another purpose than to show us our wounds and/or past experiences, but is a present coping strategy for managing what we don’t want to face (even if unconsciously) in the present—-current relationships, life circumstances, etc. Can anyone relate to this concept of escape in relation to their therapy relationship? How does this play out for you?

When you recognize your own darkness, you will see it in them, and see them for who they actually are as people. Then it will become easy to drop them from your life.

The family's “in group” do not have intimate relationships. They are transactional and look down on each other. In other words, you aren't missing anything.

Your life is better in every single way without them.

Can you share a story of someone who had a lucky experience while hitchhiking?

You will never be enough no matter what you do. At best, they will make backhanded compliments or just ignore you.

They enjoy hurting you.

You’ll know you've reached full acceptance when you receive a hoover and send it straight to spam/trash without an emotional reaction, or a second thought about it.

When have you been in an accident where the other person involved blatantly lied to the police about what transpired?

In that sense, acceptance is strongly related to building awareness.

You don't owe them anything.